Day 4 CT – ITU.
Last and final day
Loving the work – get to help with putting in a PEG. Fascination stuff. End at a civilised hour. Get dressed up and leave to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I was sceptical before. I am not a fan of museums with large obese collections spanning countries and periods. I don’t love the Louvre or the British museum for that reason. Too much confusion, don’t like time travel.
The Met however – is paradise found. You walk through these impossible doors, and are greated by a gentle hum of human voices. Large urns full of fresh flowers, staircases left, right and centre. Like a magical wonderland – up one, into one world, walk sideways, into another. In one hour, you can be a princess in Byzantium, a geisha in Kyoto and a Ming scholar.
Stumbled upstairs in the Japanese painting collection. Realy tempted to roll up all the paintings and take them home. Japanese prints are my new thing – ended up in a Ming scholars garden. So peaceful. Reminded me of home
Wish I had persevered with the Mandarin
Interruption of reverie – phone rings
Meeting alma and the boys at the café in the museum for pre dinner drinks. Classical music in the veranda, we manage to get a table opposite the musicians. Drinks, truffle oil coated popcorn, honey toasted brie. Keep going – will not drink anything not out of a Martini glass. Excellent
Boys leave to Washington. A little blue – me and alma and the boys, we were a unit.
Without them, it is like a train with no wheels, a doll with no arms. Maybe to mirror my mood, it started to rain. Alma and I rush to the first open restaurant, careless of food to take shelter from the rain. Probably drinking too much – Zinfandel – thanks Smriti for your evil influence
F calls – him and K are in a bar on the Upper East side. Alma and I join them. Why not? When work starts and my life is over, I will regret every opportunity not taken to have a good time.
Woefully inappropriately dressed – skyscraper heels in a sportsbar.
Converse about topics unremembered. Tried to explain ‘that’s what she said’. Unclear if I got the concept through.
Bedtime
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday week 1
Day 3 – CT ITU
Meet up with boys and alma in Central Park. Love love love the Park. Decide to go boating on the lake. Skeptical at first – too damned lazy. But boys insist, and am grateful – was fab (fab makes me happy).
A and I used to cox – it was like being back in an 8 again. Note really, but more than say, shopping for shoes. Park was beautiful, idyllic, picturesque, bucolic, bored of adjectivising.
Why don’t we make up words more often? Hats off to A Burgess x
Sidetrack
Must not write when drinking… crazyperson comes to the forefront. Anyway, left park for dinner and bedtime x
Meet up with boys and alma in Central Park. Love love love the Park. Decide to go boating on the lake. Skeptical at first – too damned lazy. But boys insist, and am grateful – was fab (fab makes me happy).
A and I used to cox – it was like being back in an 8 again. Note really, but more than say, shopping for shoes. Park was beautiful, idyllic, picturesque, bucolic, bored of adjectivising.
Why don’t we make up words more often? Hats off to A Burgess x
Sidetrack
Must not write when drinking… crazyperson comes to the forefront. Anyway, left park for dinner and bedtime x
Wednesday week 2
Day 2 – CT ITU. Day passes in a blur, ward round, jobs. Love the late starts – 8.30am. Lucky to be here and alive.
Tuesday week 2
Start day on Cardiothoracic ITU. Love the system of thinking about patients – from head to toe, starting with neuro. Going to incorporate their style of making lists into my own practice. Beautifully systematic. Difficult now though, am ready to take on more responsibility, but it is not going to happen in a foreign country.
Not a taxing day. End early – go to Guggenheim with the boys. Love the architecture, remember it from when I was a child. Daddy went to NY and bought me some swirly magnets.
Typical embarrassment of treasures. Paintings are like perfume. The scent of somebody you once knew, and memories which hit you in the face, everytime you walk into a crowd and find it
Chagall painting – parachutes, cats, La tour d’Eiffel.. when I was a teenager learning French in a hot classroom – being transported to a foreign land twice a week
More Picasso – when I was with Tom in Barcelona
Monet, Manet, Renoir – first time in Paris by myself , aged 15. Away from mommy and daddy. Toute seule, standing in the Pompidou in front of a Mondrian – impressions of New York. Can this be art?
Photographs – sitting with R at home, learning to use my camera. Getting parano about NY
Enough. Box closed
East Village beckons – Nippon Go (get it) with boys and F
We have some form of intellectual conversation. Too old for intellectual sometimes – spend 6 mths of my life ensconced with my intellect – and it doesn’t keep you warm at night
Bedtime xx
Not a taxing day. End early – go to Guggenheim with the boys. Love the architecture, remember it from when I was a child. Daddy went to NY and bought me some swirly magnets.
Typical embarrassment of treasures. Paintings are like perfume. The scent of somebody you once knew, and memories which hit you in the face, everytime you walk into a crowd and find it
Chagall painting – parachutes, cats, La tour d’Eiffel.. when I was a teenager learning French in a hot classroom – being transported to a foreign land twice a week
More Picasso – when I was with Tom in Barcelona
Monet, Manet, Renoir – first time in Paris by myself , aged 15. Away from mommy and daddy. Toute seule, standing in the Pompidou in front of a Mondrian – impressions of New York. Can this be art?
Photographs – sitting with R at home, learning to use my camera. Getting parano about NY
Enough. Box closed
East Village beckons – Nippon Go (get it) with boys and F
We have some form of intellectual conversation. Too old for intellectual sometimes – spend 6 mths of my life ensconced with my intellect – and it doesn’t keep you warm at night
Bedtime xx
Monday week 2
Go to Grand round – nice late start at 7am. Interesting topic – awareness and its research. Imaging being paralysed, ventilated but wide awake? Im thinking of speaking an absolutely ridiculous line in every case, and see if the patient remembers it – any suggestions?
Tlef ekil gnitirw sint ecnetnes srawkcab (work it out?)
Some people advance the use of Bis, which measures an algorithm to work out brain activity. Numbers > 80 – patient likely to be aware. Think its rubbish – need to read
Spend my day in ENT – learn loads, how to use a Mac blade and assemble it. ENT attending reminds me of dad, keeps offering to find me a husband.
Later, have reservations with alma and the boys at Brasserie Les Halles. Run by A Bourdain of Discovery channel fame. Meat feast. Put on my back dress with fab crinoline, and fab silly gold shoes and walz into restaurant. Wine, food, crepes suzettes – this is the life
Walk to tube station – random man sat on railing… looks at me and says repeatedly
‘ You’re beautiful’ – Am I ? What does it mean anyway? Or matter?
Tell him to take a hike and walk off – have I always been this unpleasant?
Tlef ekil gnitirw sint ecnetnes srawkcab (work it out?)
Some people advance the use of Bis, which measures an algorithm to work out brain activity. Numbers > 80 – patient likely to be aware. Think its rubbish – need to read
Spend my day in ENT – learn loads, how to use a Mac blade and assemble it. ENT attending reminds me of dad, keeps offering to find me a husband.
Later, have reservations with alma and the boys at Brasserie Les Halles. Run by A Bourdain of Discovery channel fame. Meat feast. Put on my back dress with fab crinoline, and fab silly gold shoes and walz into restaurant. Wine, food, crepes suzettes – this is the life
Walk to tube station – random man sat on railing… looks at me and says repeatedly
‘ You’re beautiful’ – Am I ? What does it mean anyway? Or matter?
Tell him to take a hike and walk off – have I always been this unpleasant?
Sunday week 1
After months of being sensible, find myself up at 10am in the morning after a night of minimum sleep – booze sleep.
Let life begin.
Go to brunch with alma, the boys and F. Then we walk to the Williamsburg bridge, stopping en route in a garden. Not professionally landscaped, run by volunteers. The enthusiastic Labrador retriever of gardens, tongue lolling, bounding on lap with muddy paws. Strangely moved.
Bridge – very pretty shiny water… slightly ridiculous scene, with a man being filmed in front of a bridge. Think strong German accent, strange bleached blond hair, discourse on sex I think. Have I stumbled upon the Havelock Ellis of our time? He may never be a star but applause for courage. Life is too short to not go for what you want. To reach out and try to grab it
Kicked off my shoes. Felt wind in my hair and after months post finals, began to feel – climbed up on the railing and stared at the water.
What was I expecting – that a dolphin would jump out?
Let life begin.
Go to brunch with alma, the boys and F. Then we walk to the Williamsburg bridge, stopping en route in a garden. Not professionally landscaped, run by volunteers. The enthusiastic Labrador retriever of gardens, tongue lolling, bounding on lap with muddy paws. Strangely moved.
Bridge – very pretty shiny water… slightly ridiculous scene, with a man being filmed in front of a bridge. Think strong German accent, strange bleached blond hair, discourse on sex I think. Have I stumbled upon the Havelock Ellis of our time? He may never be a star but applause for courage. Life is too short to not go for what you want. To reach out and try to grab it
Kicked off my shoes. Felt wind in my hair and after months post finals, began to feel – climbed up on the railing and stared at the water.
What was I expecting – that a dolphin would jump out?
Saturday week 1
Alma is still in San Fran … take the boys to Coney Island. Think of Ella Fitzgerald.
Kitsch as hell, wonderful place to photograph with bright colours. Swinging Ferris wheel, whiplash inducing rollercoaster..pink candyfloss, a million calorie hotdogs.
Went to the aquarium – photographed fish, need long lens
China town – Vietnamese food with avocado milkshakes… love love love it
First foray into the meatpacking district – drinks with boys and F
Long conversations till 4 in the morning with an old talkie in the background broadcast against the wall. The kind where they drive, and the scenery doesn’t move
Promised myself to never drink anything that isn’t in a Martini glass – in retrospect has served me well
Very civilised – thank god it deteriorates
Kitsch as hell, wonderful place to photograph with bright colours. Swinging Ferris wheel, whiplash inducing rollercoaster..pink candyfloss, a million calorie hotdogs.
Went to the aquarium – photographed fish, need long lens
China town – Vietnamese food with avocado milkshakes… love love love it
First foray into the meatpacking district – drinks with boys and F
Long conversations till 4 in the morning with an old talkie in the background broadcast against the wall. The kind where they drive, and the scenery doesn’t move
Promised myself to never drink anything that isn’t in a Martini glass – in retrospect has served me well
Very civilised – thank god it deteriorates
Friday week 1
The boys arrive. Been looking forward to this, because I love hanging out with my boys.
Rather cryptic meeting place – meet me at the MoMa at 5.30pm
Naturally I am late, MoMa free .. full of people.
I think on the list of things which most annoy me
1) Shiny white trainers
2) Men who don’t believe that I can read maps and grab it from me to check
3) Tourists who take flash photographs of paintings. Buy a post card for heaven’s sake. Hopefully you wont forget if you’ve seen the Mona Lisa
The Moma is so replete with blockbusters- its almost vulgar. To name some
Les demoiselles d’Avignon (or as I like to think of it, the angular hookers), Starry Starry night (or what happens when you paint on crack) and Frieda Kahlo’s stuff (she is my girl hero- it’s the girl brow, and the bedding Trotsky thing).
Missed the Abramovitch exhibition – which from the sound of it, rather scandalous. Naked people arranged in a way that, as the audience you are forced to interact with them. Why is it, as people we have this innate distaste for nakedness I wonder?
Rather cryptic meeting place – meet me at the MoMa at 5.30pm
Naturally I am late, MoMa free .. full of people.
I think on the list of things which most annoy me
1) Shiny white trainers
2) Men who don’t believe that I can read maps and grab it from me to check
3) Tourists who take flash photographs of paintings. Buy a post card for heaven’s sake. Hopefully you wont forget if you’ve seen the Mona Lisa
The Moma is so replete with blockbusters- its almost vulgar. To name some
Les demoiselles d’Avignon (or as I like to think of it, the angular hookers), Starry Starry night (or what happens when you paint on crack) and Frieda Kahlo’s stuff (she is my girl hero- it’s the girl brow, and the bedding Trotsky thing).
Missed the Abramovitch exhibition – which from the sound of it, rather scandalous. Naked people arranged in a way that, as the audience you are forced to interact with them. Why is it, as people we have this innate distaste for nakedness I wonder?
Thursday week 1
More neuroanaesthesia – enough work
Dinner with G, F and K. Drinks at East Village – one of my favourite places in NY.
Food- Thai place. Food not particularly memorable
Drinks – so much fun, favourite thai cocktail bar with half price Bangkok street food inspired cocktails
East Village – great vibe ( shoot me for using the word ‘ vibe’)
It’s a place with imagination. Bright and colourful – with a strong personality. This is who I am , accept me or don’t. No attempt to fit in, to be something for everybody.
Tell inappropriate stories and laugh like I meant it
Dinner with G, F and K. Drinks at East Village – one of my favourite places in NY.
Food- Thai place. Food not particularly memorable
Drinks – so much fun, favourite thai cocktail bar with half price Bangkok street food inspired cocktails
East Village – great vibe ( shoot me for using the word ‘ vibe’)
It’s a place with imagination. Bright and colourful – with a strong personality. This is who I am , accept me or don’t. No attempt to fit in, to be something for everybody.
Tell inappropriate stories and laugh like I meant it
Wednesday week 1
Start of 1st day of neuroanaesthesia. Love the physiology and the work generally. Can sit there for hours, interpreting numbers. Anaesthetists – secretly you think to yourself – what the hell do the do? Sleep, snore, do sudoku, paint nails, read cosmo
You see, the thing that I now realise is a good anaesthetist appears as if he is doing nothing – because everyone is under control. Acting after a change occurs – game over, anticipation is key. Make corrections even before a complication arises. Make plans for the worst case scenario in case it arises – most situations can be predicted. Once you get behind, you never catch up. Knowing the operation is key.
Go to Times square – bright lights make good pictures. Ghastly place, epileptic lightening, heavy police presence and too much smelly humanity. Horror
You see, the thing that I now realise is a good anaesthetist appears as if he is doing nothing – because everyone is under control. Acting after a change occurs – game over, anticipation is key. Make corrections even before a complication arises. Make plans for the worst case scenario in case it arises – most situations can be predicted. Once you get behind, you never catch up. Knowing the operation is key.
Go to Times square – bright lights make good pictures. Ghastly place, epileptic lightening, heavy police presence and too much smelly humanity. Horror
Friday, May 14, 2010
Tuesday Week 1
Tuesday
Up at 6.15 for a 7 30 start
Puzzling over PA pressure tracings – put in my first ET tube. Sure I went somewhere fabulous for dinner
Bedtime xx
Up at 6.15 for a 7 30 start
Puzzling over PA pressure tracings – put in my first ET tube. Sure I went somewhere fabulous for dinner
Bedtime xx
Monday Week 1
Monday 1
When I applied for this elective, I had no idea that I was applying to the New York Presbyterian hospital. It’s the university hospital linked to Cornell and Columbia Universities, located on East 68th St and York. Nearby affiliated hospitals include the Memorial Sloan Kettering and the automotive warehouse (also known as the HSS).
Say what you want about American healthcare – this hospital is amazing. They care for people that we in England, would not treat for being too old, too high risk . And they survive and have a wonderful quality of life.
Learning to let someone go is a valuable lesson in medicine, but I feel like sometimes I have forgotten to hang on. To be able to look at people without the prefix – Mr Smith is an 89 yr old gentleman. If old age can rage and burn – who are we to arbitrarily decide that someone is too old for care.
Im going to try to be more aggressive and less age conscious.
Not going to really go into details about work, because its not appropriate, and also more fab things to talk about.
Lets say that my 8 am start was a massive lie in compared to the future starts.
Met two of the other elective students – F and K for dinner with alma. Henceforth, everyone will be referred to by their initials – preserves mystery.
Bedtime xx
When I applied for this elective, I had no idea that I was applying to the New York Presbyterian hospital. It’s the university hospital linked to Cornell and Columbia Universities, located on East 68th St and York. Nearby affiliated hospitals include the Memorial Sloan Kettering and the automotive warehouse (also known as the HSS).
Say what you want about American healthcare – this hospital is amazing. They care for people that we in England, would not treat for being too old, too high risk . And they survive and have a wonderful quality of life.
Learning to let someone go is a valuable lesson in medicine, but I feel like sometimes I have forgotten to hang on. To be able to look at people without the prefix – Mr Smith is an 89 yr old gentleman. If old age can rage and burn – who are we to arbitrarily decide that someone is too old for care.
Im going to try to be more aggressive and less age conscious.
Not going to really go into details about work, because its not appropriate, and also more fab things to talk about.
Lets say that my 8 am start was a massive lie in compared to the future starts.
Met two of the other elective students – F and K for dinner with alma. Henceforth, everyone will be referred to by their initials – preserves mystery.
Bedtime xx
Sunday Week 0
Sunday 0
Its Easter today. Go to St Patricks cathedral for mass. Wonderful service. So full of people. Sat next to this girl. Perfectly manicured nails, perfect dress and engagement ring that could orbit the earth. Cant be much older than me. Park Avenue Princess. Wish that was me.
Feel a little better when I turn around. Fiance is wearing a lime green tie.
And im alright with being terribly superficial.
Invest in gold glitter eyeliner.
Bedtime xx
Its Easter today. Go to St Patricks cathedral for mass. Wonderful service. So full of people. Sat next to this girl. Perfectly manicured nails, perfect dress and engagement ring that could orbit the earth. Cant be much older than me. Park Avenue Princess. Wish that was me.
Feel a little better when I turn around. Fiance is wearing a lime green tie.
And im alright with being terribly superficial.
Invest in gold glitter eyeliner.
Bedtime xx
Sunday Week 0
Sunday 0
Its Easter today. Go to St Patricks cathedral for mass. Wonderful service. So full of people. Sat next to this girl. Perfectly manicured nails, perfect dress and engagement ring that could orbit the earth. Cant be much older than me. Park Avenue Princess. Wish that was me.
Feel a little better when I turn around. Fiance is wearing a lime green tie.
And im alright with being terribly superficial.
Invest in gold glitter eyeliner.
Bedtime xx
Its Easter today. Go to St Patricks cathedral for mass. Wonderful service. So full of people. Sat next to this girl. Perfectly manicured nails, perfect dress and engagement ring that could orbit the earth. Cant be much older than me. Park Avenue Princess. Wish that was me.
Feel a little better when I turn around. Fiance is wearing a lime green tie.
And im alright with being terribly superficial.
Invest in gold glitter eyeliner.
Bedtime xx
Week 0
Rest of the week
Fairly unremarkable – did some touristing. First visit to Central Park, which is paradise by the way. I have a new baby btw, a Nikon DSLR, which I took out to play. As for photogenicity, Central Park can compete with every size 0 supermodel. Beautiful, the kind of place where time passes with no recollection – le temps perdu.
Walked on 5th Ave – saw the famous 5th Ave museums – Bendel’s, Barneys and Sacs
Also started my East Village love affair – found our Japanese place with Alma. Plum wine – sweet but lethal. Inspired me to write my ode to tofu.
Ah..Choi comes to visit – we jazz it up. Soul of old cigarettes, brandy and people who really care about their music.
Next day, sushi picnic in Central Park. Sit on the rocks at watch
1. Children
2. Dogs
3. Ducks
Then listen to live music – by then im so tired that its all a blur.
Fairly unremarkable – did some touristing. First visit to Central Park, which is paradise by the way. I have a new baby btw, a Nikon DSLR, which I took out to play. As for photogenicity, Central Park can compete with every size 0 supermodel. Beautiful, the kind of place where time passes with no recollection – le temps perdu.
Walked on 5th Ave – saw the famous 5th Ave museums – Bendel’s, Barneys and Sacs
Also started my East Village love affair – found our Japanese place with Alma. Plum wine – sweet but lethal. Inspired me to write my ode to tofu.
Ah..Choi comes to visit – we jazz it up. Soul of old cigarettes, brandy and people who really care about their music.
Next day, sushi picnic in Central Park. Sit on the rocks at watch
1. Children
2. Dogs
3. Ducks
Then listen to live music – by then im so tired that its all a blur.
Day 1 Week 0
The first part of my travels is nearly over. I’ve spent the best part of 6 weeks in New York. Before I hopped across the pond, NY was just another city – like London or Paris or Singapore. No distinguishing features, no long lasting impressions. The glorious irony is that I probably will look back at this time as some of the best of my life.
Details – I live in the Upper East side, in an eyesore among the dignified Brown stones. Moved in during the middle of the night. Clinical walls, institutional lighting and a bizarre heater that consistently blows out dust. Driven there by a mental driver who nearly got into a fist fight with the parking attendant.
So far, perfect – take me home please
Wake up the next morning to the glorious sunshine. The English weather and I part ways. Get up and go outside – find a nearby café and watch people. Gosh, everyone here is a sparkly shiny version of a normal human being – with an insufferable dog in tow. Then, navigate the metro to get to my orientation. I guess being an international student, I find these ‘getting to know you events’ insufferable. Forced conversation, insincere conversation and promises to get together, which everyone knows that you wont keep. Finding common ground when there is none.
Wrong again – met some lovely people. As for the rest, Sorry Mr Blair, not everyone can love you.
Finally, put on a dress and silly shoes to meet alma. We are going to the Magic Flute at the Met. God Im pretentious x. Everything in NY is bigger and better – from the floor length Chagalls to the opulent décor. Music – excellent, people – Louboutin warehouse.
Details – I live in the Upper East side, in an eyesore among the dignified Brown stones. Moved in during the middle of the night. Clinical walls, institutional lighting and a bizarre heater that consistently blows out dust. Driven there by a mental driver who nearly got into a fist fight with the parking attendant.
So far, perfect – take me home please
Wake up the next morning to the glorious sunshine. The English weather and I part ways. Get up and go outside – find a nearby café and watch people. Gosh, everyone here is a sparkly shiny version of a normal human being – with an insufferable dog in tow. Then, navigate the metro to get to my orientation. I guess being an international student, I find these ‘getting to know you events’ insufferable. Forced conversation, insincere conversation and promises to get together, which everyone knows that you wont keep. Finding common ground when there is none.
Wrong again – met some lovely people. As for the rest, Sorry Mr Blair, not everyone can love you.
Finally, put on a dress and silly shoes to meet alma. We are going to the Magic Flute at the Met. God Im pretentious x. Everything in NY is bigger and better – from the floor length Chagalls to the opulent décor. Music – excellent, people – Louboutin warehouse.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Day 456
Dear all,
Nisha has moved to NY for a period of a month. Im being rather alternative here, and have decided to post my numbers backwards (or number my posts backwards) as you do
Im here for a months placement in anaesthetics in the Weill Cornell Medical centre, known to us who watch rubbish telly as the New York Presbyterian Hospital. Im expected to be surprised by (in no order)
1. Robotic cannula machines
2. World's largest hospITal bills
3. Singing, Dancing and hopping anaesthetic machines
4. Melting clocks
(never write before caffeine hit is taken)
And for those of you out there judging me for chosing the bright lights over crumbly huts, im doing that next in Bangladesh x
Im starting next week, and have a few days to explore this big city. For reasons best known to myself, ive been a little terrified of this move. I mean, you would think that having made moving my life's business, this would be another one. Was heartily cheered up in starbucks by a waiter who looked like what i imagine storyteller anansi would look like. anyways, im off now, need coffee xx
Nisha has moved to NY for a period of a month. Im being rather alternative here, and have decided to post my numbers backwards (or number my posts backwards) as you do
Im here for a months placement in anaesthetics in the Weill Cornell Medical centre, known to us who watch rubbish telly as the New York Presbyterian Hospital. Im expected to be surprised by (in no order)
1. Robotic cannula machines
2. World's largest hospITal bills
3. Singing, Dancing and hopping anaesthetic machines
4. Melting clocks
(never write before caffeine hit is taken)
And for those of you out there judging me for chosing the bright lights over crumbly huts, im doing that next in Bangladesh x
Im starting next week, and have a few days to explore this big city. For reasons best known to myself, ive been a little terrified of this move. I mean, you would think that having made moving my life's business, this would be another one. Was heartily cheered up in starbucks by a waiter who looked like what i imagine storyteller anansi would look like. anyways, im off now, need coffee xx
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